Puppy Video

This week I've been filming my second puppy video. I think you'll like it when it's done. People often ask me if I really get turned on while I film or shoot. I'm not sure what the "right" answer is but the real answer is sometimes. Like anything else one enjoys, if you make a job out of it some of it is going to turn into a routine and that's going to be boring and job-like. Sometimes I'm not totally comfortable with the person I'm shooting with, sometimes I'm tired and sometimes the setting isn't conducive to getting turned on. In the set where I'm being force fed honey by Ester Amoral I guarantee you that the only thing I was thinking was "eeeeeeeee! I'm so stickeeeeyyyy!"

Of course, when I looked at the pictures I said, "Oh damn who are those sexy bitches?! Where is my vibrator?!" but when we shot it, sex was a much lower priority than say, a shower. A long. Hot. Shower....which is sad, because I would totally fuck Ester Amoral.

In any case, sometimes I DO get turned on by a shoot, and the second puppy video has definitely been one of those times. I'll give you a bit of a spoiler.

This video, the second Isobel's Puppy Adventure video, is about Isobel the puppy being examined and trained. Evil doctor RP uses his scary instruments to test me for depth and width in my pussy and mouth. *Digression* Upon entering RP's studio a few years ago I goggled at the amount of scary objects of ambiguous origin and purpose that he had in his possession.

"Where....where did you GET all these things?"

Unwittingly, he laughed a very good evil genius laugh and grinned at me, "Ebay."

He turned back to setting up the shoot and I wandered around touching things (we models do this, it's a horrible habit. Most photographers hate it). After 15 minutes of trying to figure out what something that looked vaguely like a milking machine on crack was supposed to do I decided -against what should be my better judgement- to ask, "What does any of this stuff DO?!"

He looked up, trying to pick out WHICH "stuff" I was motioning to. He shrugged, "Oh fuck, I don't know. It looks pretty horrific though, doesn't it?" He grinned, "Isn't it great?!"

I have since learned that RP is an ebaying fool. I have never learned, however, what it is that he types into the ebay search engine to end up with his scary things. I mean, if he doesn't have a concrete thing to search for -such as a frequent term of mine "size 8 pumps 5 inch heel"- what does he have type so that a small chrome engine with what looks like tanks and syringes and odd valves attached comes up in the results?! I'm not sure that I want to know.

End of digression. So in the video RP is testing me for depth and such with a clear purple double headed dildo. At this point we'd been shooting for quite some time. He'd been thowing me around and testing different parts of me with different types of instruments, I'd masturbated for a short time until I was "caught". The script called for him to catch me masturbating, take the measuing dldo from me, smack me around a little and continue with the examination.

He stuffed the dildo in deep and rough as per the shoot plan. My poor pussy couldn't take it any longer. I cried out and practically jumped off the table trying to push back against the dildo. My reaction surprised the both of us. The scene was supposed to be over after he measured me but I begged him not to stop. *smirk* Gamely, he obliged. Rough life for RP huh? At that point I wasn't paying attention to things like camera angles and body positioning, I just fucked the hell out of that dildo until I came. I hope the video turned out okay. *evil grin*

Hot Chick of the day

Welcome 93X listeners! I'm the hot chick of the day ! W00T!

I got up this morning and checked the logs and thought, "now how the HELL do I have 45 guests looking at my site?" and then I remembered that the lovely folks over at 93X accepted my application. Hello Minnesota! Welcome, from Boston Ma on the east coast! I'm sorry that the site isn't exactly functioning top notch right now, I'm still new to this whole, "making the internet" thing and some stuff is broken. My business partner is helping me, but he's a busy guy and there's only so much time he can devote to THIS naked chick.

Wow, Minnesota. Cool! I've never been there, but apparently there are at least 45 folks who like hot chicks there and think that I'm one.

If your Isobel fix isn't satisfied just yet feel free to come check me out at my yahoo group , or add me to your friends list on myspace. If you're feeling really into it and you'd like to see more pictures and possibly see me in print, go to:

and download some new, special photos of me and vote for me as an Ultra Vixen. If I get the most votes for the year, I get the cover of the magazine and you'd better believe I'll be showing all the folks who helped me get there some very special love. ;)

Thanks for watching,

Isobel

Figure modeling

So I worked a figure modeling gig for a local college the other day. Figure modeling is kind of fun even though it's not as glam as photographic modeling. No one does your makeup or your hair, but then again, you don't have to shave your legs because no one is going to bother drawing leg hair.

I got really used to modeling for advanced classes and artists' practice so it was unusual for me to do shorter poses. I'm used to doing 90 second gestures* for ten minutes and then picking a pose to hold for 45 minutes at once for five hours in total. It was super strange to do five and two minute gestures and 20 and 30 minute poses.

My best friend Ester went to art school. She told this really great story about her two best/worst subjects. Both were men, one was this big fat homeless guy. The fact that they hire homeless people to art model makes me feel less great about myself as an art model.

You know? It's like when you're dating someone and you're feeling pretty good about yourself for landing this great catch and then you meet a few of their exes and they're all total hose beasts. You kind of wonder what part of you is beastly enough to attract your sig to you and now you kind of view the whole situation differently.

Anyway, so this homeless art model, according to Ester, was a little smelly and sort of wove back and forth if he had to sit up straight. He would always pick spread legged poses to display his junk better and if he caught you looking at it to draw it he'd make eyebrows at you and then during the break he'd walk over to you and execute one of my favorite "annoying man tricks". A nude (or nearly so) man walks over to a woman who is sitting with her eyes at his groin level and then does a lower back stretch to shove his genitals in her face. "Ohhhhh, don't mind me... Ahhhh, my back is soooo tight. Could uuuuuuuse a good massage."

Ester tells me it was particularly offensive when this guy did it because he always smelled of old ball sweat.

The other guy is nowhere near as generally appalling, just kind of strange. He would get an erection if you tried to draw his penis. She would tell me that you'd start to draw and he'd catch you looking and his dick would start twitching. It is, by the way, impossible to draw a twitching member (yeah duh). She would drop her pencil and look at his face with a look withering look that said, "seriously. Cut it out. I'm trying to draw here." which would make him more embarrassed, he'd blush crimson and his erection would get worse.

In the beginning the professor would ask the model to excuse himself until he, "calmed down" but apparently this happened so many times a class that if the model excused himself every time he got hard there would be no more drawing time left. Ester's sketch book of this class is pretty funny. It starts as guys with missing crotches and then guys with half drawn flaccid penises and then guys with huge raging hard ons. It looks like someone is trying to tell a story about male sexuality. I picture people in the future finding her sketch book in the ruins of a town and it being the next cave paintings, "You see how our ancestors' grasp on sexuality changed over the ages...these at the last appear to be some kind of ancient fertility gods."

I don't understand why the guy didn't just stare at the ceiling like I do. In a modeling class I get very well acquainted with the students shoes and the water spots on the ceiling. Everyone in this last class was wearing sneakers, by the way. Except the professor, who was wearing loafers...they always are.

Here are some things I think about while standing still for three hours;

-What would happen if I just broke out into an impromptu dance for like, 20 seconds and then went back to my pose like nothing ever happened?

-What would happen if I just got up and walked out, naked, didn't pick up my clothing or anything?

-I should just stare at this one person. That would be really funny. To just stare an inch or so beyond his head, I bet that would make him really uncomfortable. I bet he'd move.

-I wonder if there has ever been a super stinky model who figure modeled. I bet you they didn't work with that person again.

-What would the professor do if their figure model showed up and had palsy?

-What if I just cut a really loud fart right now? Would people laugh?

-Why do people react so negatively if their art model talks to them while they're drawing? I guess it gets in the way of the objectification.

I also think of other things like what I need to do for the rest of the week and how I would want to look if I were black (I have always wanted to have "nappy" hair) and what I would do to the world if I were God (thing 5.7b is making a birth control pill for men) but I just listed the things specific to figure modeling and not say, a long trip on the bus....or a flight when the person in front of me reclines their seat so far that I can't use my laptop.

I purposefully pick the shitty seats in the back of the plane b/c they generally have fewer degrees of seat pitch. Seriously, if I wanted a fellow passenger's head in my lap during the whole trip I'm sure I could ask someone and have it achieved in a much more interesting manner. And no one ever asks you if they can recline before they hit the lever. Most people don't even look back. I've had that little tray latch hit the top of my laptop with such force that I thought it would break my screen.

Guilty confession? Once, in the middle of a particularly stressful cross country flight (why does everyone bring their babies on the red eye?!) a little old -well, okay, not so little- a morbidly obese old Texan lady just dropped her seat back into my lap with such force that the seat latch closed my laptop on my hands. Startled and angry I shouted -honestly, I shouted, in the middle of a crowded plane at like, midnight- "Woah! Eat less cake lady!"

*laughs and blushes*

Everyone looked up. EVERYONE. I woke people up. They had NO idea why I was shouting. The old lady was startled and offended because she didn't know that she'd almost broken my laptop. She just knew she'd reclined and I'd yelled that she was fat. I didn't feel like explaining why I'd yelled. I was embarrassed, she was embarrassed, the other passengers thought I was a douche...some people laughed though. I think I mumbled, "you shut my laptop, it startled me." She eyed me, wounded, through the seats, cranked her seat up, and went back to sleep.

Yep. that's what I've got to say today.

Thanks for watching,
Isobel

*gesture - a quick, dynamic pose where the artist merely works on capturing the form of the model in as few lines as possible. The viewer of the finished gesture piece should be able to "fill in" the figure with their eyes and be left with a sense of movement in the drawing, hence gesture.

Lists

I keep lists. I have a thing for lists. I thought it was kind of stupid, then I read somewhere that an ancient Japanese lady who was famous for being sexy released a book of lists back in her time and they were a big seller. Now, I'm not sure if her book was a big seller b/c it was good or b/c she was famous for being sexy but it encouraged me to keep writing my lists. I thought I might share some.
Things that give me a thrill
-Taking off in an airplane
-Seeing an airplane's shadow on the ground
-Finding a cool rock
-Finding money
-Seeing my name in an article
-A sudden graphic flash of sex in my mind

Things I am afraid of
Anything that represents loss of self, like dementia or zombies
Ghosts
Crawly things with too many legs that move in waves, like centipedes
Being lost in space
Being unable to see the bottom in a large body of water

Movies that always make me cry
-Mystic River; the part where Sean Penn has to identify his daughter. (Oh Goddamn. No one should ever have to be on either side of that window)
-Old Yeller; shut up, the dog dies, it's fucking sad. (poor puppy. It wasn't his fault!)
-Lilo and Stitch; when they sing the Hawaiian anthem. (I grew up there, I miss it)
-Saving Private Ryan; the D day invasion when everyone's all fucked up and stumbling around and you see that they're all just young men who really really didn't have to die like that. (duh)
-Jarhead; the whole thing, I can't watch it. I'm a fucking mess. (because I think my friends who are in the military must feel like that)
-Roots; "Your name is Toby!" "Kunta-kine!" (because I'm proud of him)
-Big Fish; the denouement (his son finally gets it, they finally make peace)

Things that are hard to define
What humor is
What love is
Translating concept words

And because this is a sexy site:
Things that arouse me
-A good speaking voice
-A commanding voice
-A nice pair of legs in stockings and patent heels (mine or someone else's)
-A woman with nicely shaped breasts
-The bare expanse of someone's back, especially if it is well muscled
-The Iliac crest, especially peeking out of a pair of jeans that are JUST loose enough for me to stick my fingers in
-Riding on a motorcycle
-Wearing latex
-Preparing something in the kitchen with someone I am enamored of
-The particular way I groom my pubic hair, not the act of grooming it but the way it looks and feels. I like having the hair on the front and then it not being on the undercarriage is a sexy surprise.
-Being chased
-Being bound in a sexual situation when I trust the person binding me
-Deep smells, like cinnamon or cardamom or the back of someone's neck
-Having a hood piercing while wearing jeans and crossing my legs or riding a bike

Vagina

Vagina Having a vagina is very useful. It's a great place to store things if they're pretty small and you don't mind them getting gooey, it fits in a pair of panties much more handily than external genitalia and putting things in it lends an instant "edge" to photos.

Seriously, I'm not kidding. I can't tell you how many times I've put up an art photo of me with something unusual stuffed in me to have it yield an instant flurry of, "How edgy!" comments

Once a photographer knows that you'll put something in you for a photo that's all you'll hear about. I have one photo that gets a lot of press by Aeric Meredith-Goujon where I've got a whole bunch of rubber tubing in there. I get comments like, "she's a bug with her guts coming out", "good Lord! He's turned you into a Play-Doh machine!", and "I'll never look at Twizzlers the same again."

I guarantee you that those photos will be the first thing I'll hear about when a photographer tells me he's seen my work and, "wants to do something erotic and edgy". I figure it must be an unwritten rule of photography, "If you find a model who will stick something up her you've got to ask her to stick something up her for you." I'm usually up for it if I think the shot has artistic merit and I like the photographer. Yes, I'm like that. I have to be comfortable with a person to put an object in my holiest of holies in front of them.

So anyway, at this point the fun things that I've stuck up my hooter in a non sexy way include; a mass of rubber tubing, a mirror (the photographer is shaving in it in the photo), a pacifier, a whole bunch of tiny robotic arms, a largeish steel sex toy that looked more like sculpture, a vaguely phallic sculpture in blown glass (here's what I was thinking, "please don't break, please don't break, please don't break") a soft pack, a barbie doll and the heel of a patent leather stiletto.

That photo of the stiletto is now in an erotic art gallery in Paris. Know why? Because it was edgy. I would never have gotten into that gallery if I hadn't put a shoe up me. So a vagina is super useful to have, it's my favorite place on my body to store things, although I'll never get the smell out of my coin purse.

Ten facts about Isobel Wren, med edition

Ten medical facts about Isobel Wren:

1)I suffer from often debilitating chronic heartburn that doctors are at a loss to treat but enjoy running up bills looking at.

2)I can roll my tongue, taste that one chemical that only people of European decent can taste, and can also taste and smell a chemical that very few people can detect at all when it is injected into them. I am a genetic freak.

3)I got chicken pox as a child and loved every second of it. For some reason I totally got into the itching and the disgusting scabs. My mom was so grossed out. Since I was the first kid in the neighborhood to get it, all the other moms brought their kids over so that they'd get it too. I was thrilled to be a disease vector. I became totally megalomaniacal about it (which also freaked my mom out).

4)Also as a kid I contracted a strange, antiquated disease that no doctor in the Washington DC area had ever seen before (they thought they cured it like, 10 years before I was born). It slowly paralyzed me and would have killed me had my mom not finally found a doctor who knew what it was.

5)I have excema, but only in my scalp, eyebrows and immediately under my nose, the latter only when I'm stressed out. I was once totally unable to convince a potential lover that the excema under my nose wasn't proof of genital herpes.

6)I have been hospitalized for mental illness once. Overnight. At the time it wasn't cool, but now it's kind of funny.

7)I have a "hairy nevus" that's a big honking mole that hair grows out of (which I promptly shave). I should have it removed, but so far I haven't.

8)It is so hard to puncture my veins with a needle to draw blood that the nurse at my student health services would cry when she saw me coming. I am not making that up.

9)I have never broken a bone, but I've chipped my right ankle and splintered a portion of my lower left jaw in a bike accident. You can see the scar on my jaw if I smile really big or squinch up my lips. It's a little line/pucker under my chin.

10)After having "too many" teeth my entire life I was told that my wisdom teeth did not need to be removed. Three erupted successfully on their own (but for a bitch of a headache on the first one, no wonder babies cry about that shit!) but the fourth dropped its roots into the nerve on my jaw. One morning I found myself in intense pain, unable to open my mouth. I was glad to learn that I hadn't gotten lock jaw, but the tooth did get infected and required several rounds of drugs before it could be removed. Between the infection and the subsequent surgeries it was nearly two months before I could open my mouth.

And one more just for good measure; I had braces for 5 years. My orthodontist told my parents that my mouth was just too small to straighten all my teeth and that, "If I make her lower teeth totally straight, the gums will recede so much that her lower front teeth will just fall right out of her head". This terrified me and I immediately took off my retainer in refusal to let my teeth "fall right out" of my head. Turns out that this would not have happened, and now I must save up money to foot a second set of braces to fix what terrifying visuals ruined.

Webcam and Playboy

So the first IsobelWren.com webcam session was a success. Seven members signed on to watch me fondle myself, play with ice, and show off my pussy. At the instruction of one intrepid member I broke out a dildo, sucked it and then masturbated until I came.

It was super hot! I know that I'm definitely an exhibitionist now, since having everyone watch me really got me off fast. The wild success of the webcam has prompted me to want to do it again so members can definitely look forward to me showing off again in the near future. I'll be sending out a poll soon to see what you guys would like to see me wear and do.

Do you want to go to a Playboy mansion party? I am selling tickets through my affiliation with COPA swimwear and if you'd like to go to the Mopar cars party October 17th at the Playboy mansion I can get you a ticket at the discounted price of 750$.

Yes, 750 is a lot of money, but it's a HUGE discount off the general admission price (prohibitively expensive to keep the "riff raff" out) and it's such a freaking amazing party that you can't imagine how cool it is. The party is planned and hosted by the Prive group, which does all the cool parties in Las Vegas. There's going to be a lot of booze, stellar hot chicks (who are all famous for being naked) and really neat cars. Most importantly, you will be at a party a THE PLAYBOY MANSION. Who gets to do that?!

Let me know if you'd like to go and I'll give you the link and discount information. Send me an email at isobelwren at gmail.com